Your Path, Your Power Breaking Cycles & Speaking Truth
Category: Expectations, Mental Health, Pasifika Empowerment
In this episode, I cover two big truths & both come from lived experience:
The damage caused by being guilted or pressured into living out the dreams our parents had for us.
The silent struggles we face when our mental health isn’t recognised or supported.. even by those we love most.
Let’s talk about expectations and how they can become emotional blackmail.
I open up about how damaging it can be when our parents or families expect us to live a life that looks good on the outside, but feels heavy on the inside. Whether it’s choosing a career we don’t love, excelling in school or sport, or constantly trying to uphold the family name; the pressure can be immense. And so often, we carry it silently.
This is still happening today.
Our Pasifika youth are still torn between their truth and their obligation.
And that needs to change.
The pressure to represent, repay, and perform.
In our culture, there’s often this unspoken rule:
“They gave you everything, so don’t question it… just make them proud.”
But what happens when making them proud means losing yourself in the process?
I share how I chose not to follow the path my parents hoped I would. It wasn’t easy. I felt guilt, shame, and even disrespectful for choosing differently. But I also gained resilience, strength, and a deeper understanding of who I am.
It’s not about disrespecting our parents.
It’s about creating space to live in alignment with your purpose, not someone else’s expectations.
The emotional cost of not choosing your own path:
Constant pressure to meet expectations
Guilt for wanting something different
The fear of being seen as ungrateful or selfish
Feeling trapped in a life that doesn’t reflect who you are
But here’s the truth: You are allowed to choose you.
You are allowed to create a path that aligns with your values, your joy, your purpose.
And then there’s mental health…
I also speak to how heart-breaking it is when those closest to us, our own families, don’t always know how to support us when we’re struggling. Not because they don’t love us, but because they were never shown how.
Mental health is still buried in silence in many of our Pasifika communities.
There’s stigma. There’s shame. And there’s a deeply ingrained pattern of “just get over it.”
But that silence?
It leads to pain. To disconnection. To DV, addiction, depression and in the worst cases, suicide.
In this episode, I speak on:
Breaking free from cultural guilt and reclaiming your path
The real cost of unmet emotional needs
Why your mental health needs to be prioritised — not dismissed
How to stop letting other people’s opinions define your choices
Encouragement to speak up, seek help, and honour your truth
If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out:
📞 Australia – Lifeline: 13 11 14
📞 New Zealand – 1737 Need to Talk? Free call or text 1737
Final words:
You are not selfish for choosing peace.
You are not weak for needing support.
You are not wrong for creating your own path.
You are powerful. You are worthy & your voice matters. 🤍
